No Longer Bearing The Smile Poem by vern eaker

No longer bearing the smile I wear so distinctively
Replaced now by the tears that flow so frequently
There is a constricting darkness consuming my heart
A vastly growing void since you decided to part

I have run the gambit of emotion sorrow brings
Anger, shame, jealously, are amongst the things
Clouding my thoughts wondering what I have done
Confused as to how the love we had, can be lost by one

For so long our kindred spirit held us tight
Now gone because of a silly drunken night
As I write those words I see they are not true
It is not the only time, you let alcohol control you

In fact they become too many, to count or track
But this is the first time, you did not come back
You knew I would be angry, that I would be mad
You failed again to keep, the promise that we had

I know that I must keep my promise to you
Even though it saddens me, it means we are through
Too often it has happened over and over again
Against your need for alcohol I can never win

Hard it is to accept your weakness is stronger
Than our love we can share no longer
We can not continue to live to on only prayer
Overlooking the barrier you have constructed there

I can never pretend for a moment I do not love you
Though again your not here, you know it is true
For I know you can feel my heart breaking
We do share a deep love there is no mistaking

That is why it is so hard to sever those ties
We can not continue living the lies
Your drinking continuously hurts both of us
You’re unwilling to control it voiding all trust

At least for me this vicious circle must end
This is the proof our life we can’t mend
Drinking makes you unhappy, sad makes you drink
Too little time do you care to even think

You will say you can and will quit
But you would have to admit
You do not have the will or desire
And I can not live with a drunken liar