My Secret, My Abuse Poem by sarah honey

It all started with memories as a child
I was so young just nine
I was raised well but the thought still stayed in my mind
Why would God let this happen to me
A child of molestation, holding deep fears even as a man
Not knowing how to let go of the drama inside
Hating myself, trying to find away to escape
Not telling anyone, for fear of rejection
Looking for a way to forget and sink these thoughts
Losing always everything, there is not a steady place in life
A piece where I can be accepted
What will people think if I tell
I find a half empty bottle of rum
The tastes burns, I am but a child
The memories erase for a time and I ma at piece
I continue to waste away my life in this way
Not looking for a good way out
I use and hurt the ones I love
Not physically but mentally they see me waste away
Where is the end, I look for it
For thirty years it eats at me, and I have no one
Should I tell the secret, should I let it go
Will anyone be there if I do
I have given up this bottle, and yet I am alone
I wish so hard to find one I can relate with
Are you there, I need companionship
I need it like the waves need wind
So where do I go from here
I pray every night for you to find me