My Only Disguise Is My Adolescence Poem by Becca Bell

The taste of my chap-stick
This cheap adolescent disguise I wear
Guides me though all my realizations
You've downed my teenage ambition and all those frothy mistakes
And I, yours
The same ones you danced blindly alongside
Fumbling in our urgency
You savor the many varied tastes of my existence
I can feel my insides frantically stitching and nursing my silly pubescent cuts and bruises
I feel healed, and everything is warm
A pleasurable, quizzical look moves across your face
Yes, I love you.
Your palms, that soften at night;
Your heavy tortured eyes, your laughter;
I've analyzed it all.
Yes, yes, yes, I love you.
My world is upside-down and topsy-turvy.
I'm overwhelmed and swirling in and out of your anesthetic
I'm drugged up
Screwed up
I'm wrapped up in this pure, unadulterated love
I'm waiting, now, for the surgeon to appear
The surgeon looks like a parent
She would be disappointed
And I would be happy when she says:
'Your adolescence has officially and successfully been removed.'
What a beautiful, wonderful operation it was!
The lens turns until my eyes are focused
Focused on you. Only you.
You're all I remember
I'm a blank canvas, write on me as you wish
With you, I will grow old and withered
Our roots will be dangerously entwined with time.
'Yes' will always be my answer, my mantra.
You will always be my host, my vessel;
A place to store my happiness with blood, sweat, and tears.