My Heart Pounds Poem by Bekah Tav.

My heart pounds,
When you yell my name.
My eyes fill,
When you think I’m to blame.
My voice breaks,
When you don’t listen
To a word I say..
You just think that your
Right anyway…
Do you see these eyes?
They’re full of questions,
Do you hear these words?
They say so much.
Do you see me shaking?
I have so many things
Going on, and I’m not
Feeling strong.
I dropp down,
When I feel threatened,
Onto the floor,
I flatten myself.
Try to keep hidden,
So you don’t see,
So you don’t know,
That it is me.
I close my eyes,
Ever so tightly,
Don’t want to know,
What’s about to
Come my way.
I stiffen,
My body so still
That you can hit
And throw me,
But I won’t feel.
Won’t feel anything.

Do you see these eyes?
They’re full of questions,
Do you hear these words?
They say so much.
Do you see me shaking?
I have so many things
Going on, and I’m not
Feeling strong.
After a while,
You apologize,
I say okay,
What a lie.
I go to bed,
Try to lay down,
But the pain is
So strong,
I can’t move,
Just got to stand
And hold on.
Hold on.
My back’s on fire,
My arms are sore,
My legs are shaking,
I can’t stand anymore.
My head is throbbing,
Can you hear the beat?
The thumping in my ears,
Is making me weak.
Do you see these eyes?
They’re full of questions,
Do you hear these words?
They say so much.
Do you see me shaking?
I have so many things
Going on, and I’m not
Feeling strong.
I fall down,
Onto the ground.
don’t have the strength,
To pull myself up.
I lay there,
Motionless,
Trying so
Hard to breathe.
I think my lungs
Caved in on me.
Do you see these eyes?
They’re full of questions,
Do you hear these words?
They say so much.
Do you see me shaking?
I have so many things
Going on, and I’m not
Feeling strong.
You come in,
don’t make a sound.
Life me gently
From the ground.
Lay me softly on
The bed,
Give me some medicine,
For my head,
Get me the heating pad,
For my back…
Then you shut the
Light off you
Close the door,
Wishing you hadn’t
Done this,
Just like before.
But you did,
And now I’m in pain,
And there’s only
You to blame,
And there’s only
You, to blame…
Did you see my eyes?
They were full of questions.
Did you hear the words
That I cried?
Did you see me
Shaking, in fear,
Breaking down?
No?
Well here I am now,
I am 15,
All that you did
Is still with me.
Its in my head,
And I still have a
Fear of big grown men.
Thanks again..
Thanks for making me
So messed up,
That I have a big
Issue with trust.
Bad enough that now
I keep myself locked up,
Try to be too tough…
Don’t allow myself to
Trust too many,
Don’t let myself
Get too close.
Don’t let people
Say they love me,
Because now when they
Do I am afraid.
And its all thanks to you,
I have so many issues,
Its all thanks to you…
I’ve realized that now,
I was never to blame.
When you screamed my name,
I wasn’t the problem,
You just needed
To relieve yourself of the shame…
I was just a child,
I was so innocent,
So small and you just
Tossed me around.
Some of these scars,
They have your name
On them,
And the ones on my heart…
Don’t even get me
Started,
On the ones on my heart..
Its all
Because of you…
You didn’t see
My eyes so full of questions,
You didn’t hear the words,
I said when I cried out in pain.
You didn’t see me crumbling,
Falling down and breaking,
I just started shaking,
When you would yell my name..
And now
I have problems, that are
Much bigger than you.
They’re so tall they
Reach to the heavens.
It’s a fight for me
To just go on another
Day,
Thanks to you,
I got to live this way..
Thanks you to,
I can say,
I’m that much
Stronger
Everyday…