My Cigarette, My Friend Poem by Alessandra Liverani

I've got a bit of sinus
My throat's a little bit dry
My lungs are a little bit wheezy
But I'm not going to cry

All my teeth have been stained yellow
My fingers and nails too
Some say it's the cigarettes I smoke
They say that they accrue

I think that that is an outright lie
No, cigarettes do me no harm
They are my very best friends
To me they have lots of charm

Do you want me to explain it
All the benefits that fags give to me
Well, where do you want me to start?
I'll tell you the lot, from A to B

Firstly, there is the advantage
Of having to buy them everyday
It puts order in your life
And makes sure that you won't stray

Then, of course, each time you smoke one
Your withdrawal pangs disappear
Not for very long, mind you
But you'll have another, have no fear

Now cigarette butts, that's a tough one
I can't seem to find an advantage there
Maybe just the satisfaction of ridding myself of them
Getting those nasty things out of my hair

So when they bury me in the ground
And place my gravestone up above
I'd like for them to put on it
I died for my cigarette friends, with love