Mark R Slaughter


My Cat Thinks I'm a Plonker


My cat thinks I’m a plonker.
'And why? ' I hear you ask:

‘O puddy-wuddy sweety beeps,
My fluffy-wuffy, time for sleeps…
Now come to Daddy for a hug –
But is he feeling nice and snug?

Let’s rumbly-pumbly on the floor,
Then catch a mouse behind the door.
O Marmy-Warmy Marmaduke (his name) ,
You kitty-witty kuky-kuke... ’

I'd called out loud to bring him in,
But neighbours hear the wincing din:
My puddy’s face now red with shame,
He let’s them think it’s just a game.

And as he trundles through the door,
He glares a glare I’ve seen before –
To tell me what I am, so true:
An utter plonker, through and through!

PS. Poemhunter previously removed this poem probably
because I innocently used a common word of affection for cats!
I therefore replaced it with 'puddy'. Hopefully it won't get removed this time.


Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2011

Submitted: Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Edited: Saturday, July 16, 2011

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Comments about this poem (My Cat Thinks I'm a Plonker by Mark R Slaughter )

  • Freshman - 514 Points Sally Plumb Plumb (3/27/2009 11:18:00 AM)

    This piece is good fun. Ha! Ha! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 376 Points Marie Shine (3/26/2009 1:38:00 PM)

    Another work of art from 'The Master'. It is a most enjoyable and VERY funny & sweet poem.A well deserved 10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Stephen Stirk (3/24/2009 3:47:00 AM)

    Hi Mark.
    I daren't let my kids see this, it's so rude. A real hard core classic. You don't puddy foot around do you. Much Enjoyed
    Steve (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 26 Points Fiona Davidson (3/24/2009 3:39:00 AM)

    I can't believe they removed this...it's an innocent and very funny write about a cat tuts...well I still love it Mark....thanks for reposting it...Fi...10+++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Ian Bowen (3/24/2009 3:39:00 AM)

    Mark, love the way you have written this. Funny and entertaining piece.10/10
    Ian (Report) Reply

Read all 5 comments »

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