Man And His Nuts Poem by stephen stirk

Come on now guys; No ifs! No buts!
Let’s talk about your precious nuts
And how you guard them night and day
The right hand never far away
To give a scratch; maybe a pat
A playful grab, or stuff like that
So proud are we; to own a pair
We have to check that they’re still there
And as we speak out to impress
We always check our nuts; confess
When other folk we hail and greet
We use our pockets so discrete
“Good day dear sir”; check left nut’s there
“A fond goodnight”; still got the right
Or perhaps, those slyer checks
That sorts the undies; smooth the keks
A cursory check with left or right
Unravels nuts so they won’t fight
But really you just need the zeal
To clutch your nuts and have a feel
To never touch them is the test
That man just isn’t nut obsessed
He’s not aware, he doesn’t care
Oblivious to the fact you stare
For he will care not if you watch
As hourly he checks his crotch
Could he be sore or insecure?
Would it be worse if he had four?
To womenfolk in every land
Make eye contact; ignore the hand
And in a while you’ll notice not
Mans audit of the bits he’s got
Come on now guys; no ifs or buts
You’re self obsessed about your nuts