Love, Life Poem by Jennifer Alejandra

I cant tell whether your mad
or are just like that cause you care about me

I wonder if when you swear
if it's just to show how strongly you feel about something
or if you just want it to hurt me

I cant help but think
that everything I tell you
makes you not want to be around me

Like how I told you my secret
about how i always cry
about how i always try
to commit suicide
or how my wrists will never be smooth
when you lay your hands over them
instead they will be filled with cuts
and all my pain spilled on top of them

Sometimes I wonder if you even care
When I turn around to stare
At the boy passing by
So you could just notice
that i try
to make you feel jealous
inside

I know that i dont want to give up
on making you see
that you and i could be
something more
then what we already are
to take what we call friendship
and turn it
into a love filled
relationship

You know I want to
because I love when your hand holds mine
when you let me 'sleep' on your shoulder
even when i just close my eyes
like how we do anything to try to be close to each other
in line, in the hall, or sitting by one another
like how everyone thinks we are more then just friends
but we just smile and laugh
and pretend
like we don't agree with them
that maybe what we have is more
then just a basic friendship