Love In A Tower Block Poem by Ellen Shaw

First loves are not all
Forever Loves,
Only Loves,
For all of us
No, first loves are not
The very loves
That build us up
A skyscraper
Catching the light
And blinding the city
No,
first loves are the cockroaches
Crawling
Upon kitchen tops
The sadness that encroaches
Broken homes
First loves are plates
Thrown at walls
Wide eyed children watching
It all
Shattering into a thousand pieces
Porcelain pattern
Defeated
First Loves shrink your world
Curl up girl
Buried in a corner
Getting colder not warmer
Smaller not taller
A test of endurance
Like climbing the stairs to the roof of your tower block
You never make it
To the top
First loves are not fluffy clouds
More like the threadbare carpets
You are dragged along
Burning your skin
Raw
Until you love him more
A first love is the only onion
In an empty fridge
Bringing tears to your eyes
Grateful for all you have to eat
Enough for a feast
Indulge
First love's a thief
The beady eyed man
In the flat next door
Never stops taking
Wanting, needing
More
Climbing through windows
In broad daylight
Stealing a young boy's bike
First loves are not kisses
And smiles
Instead lies, hurts and denials,
Innocence defiled
Beheading roses
Fingerprints on a masterpiece
Footsteps on the moon
Purity
Dirtied
There's no going back
No taking it back
When you give it all
To your first love
Not four forever love
Nor only love
First Loves don't exist
For all of us