Love Poem by Tony Pitman

A kiss.

I never saw Mam and Dad kiss,
Not even a peck on the cheek;
Never hold hands or touch each other;
They were more like sister and brother.

Tactile affection was not the fashion,
Especially in front of the children.
Sad to have such restraints,
When love demands spontaneity.

How did they manage such control,
Did it put their love under strain?
Did their romance take place in private,
Hidden away from public gaze?

Sadder still was their union devoid,
Of any need to touch at all?
Were they both happy with such a state,
Or did one hunger to physically relate?

Hard to imagine commitment for life,
If couples don't act as man and wife.
The healing gift such unions should bring,
Is the affirmation in touch and kiss.

Pol and Rach

Of all the sights to give great pleasure,
To bring a smile and memories to treasure;
None is more beautiful to behold
Than mother and daughter close together.

To watch the progress from parent and child;
To blossom and grow to adult and friend.
A privilege to witness along the way;
A lesson in love and harmony.

What is the secret of their success,
Not all can achieve, as we witness.
What ingredient binds them together?
What spell has been cast on them?

There really is no mystery to solve,
The ways are there for us all,
Their joy in being together
Comes from their care, each for the other.


No greater gift can a father receive

Hardest.

The hardest thing not to share,
Is simply being, doing nothing.
Events and pursuits distract the mind,
But to share nothing is divine.

Silence and solitude are for sharing;
Unspoken connection in company.
Spirits united in close bond;
It's where contentment can be found.

Silence is the language of love;
Universal gift from above.
No words to regret or lead astray;
Two hearts as one, no mystery.

In a world of noise and chatter,
We're diverted from that that matters.
Being close is what holds sway;
No words can describe such harmony.

Whatever distractions come our way;
Absorbing and consuming, sad or gay,
Eventually we must return to be,
Alone if not sharing silent company.

Round and round.

Round and round my finger bare;
Feeling for band no longer there.
Nothing firm to grip and hold;
Just cold flesh and knucklebone.

Round and round the mind whirls;
To find just cause for such hurts.
No big issues to grasp and hold;
Bits on bits, too much the camel's load.

Round and round I look for her;
For every decision there is to make.
Forgetting she's no longer there;
My hopes, joys and fears to share.

Round and round go the days;
Could we not wait for Nature's way?
We'd travelled so far side by side;
All discarded in the blink of an eye.

Round and round the cycles of life;
Swiftly, swiftly pass us by;
Surely such love didn't die;
Was too much expected to satisfy?

Round and round the earth spins;
Time will pass into history;
Anger and pain will seep away;
Tears will stop and dry some day.

Round and round life goes on,
That, now so tragic, will be gone.
New sadness and joys will come your way;
What's raw and tender now, a faded memory

Hold tight.

No matter what comes along,
To drive a wedge into your love,
Resist words to explain the way,
Just hold tight your bodies together.

Words can confuse and are inadequate,
But physical presence has no equal.
Let nothing divide you from your love;
Just hold tight your bodies together.

Evil will try to cause a divide;
Resist and you will survive.
No power on earth will drive you apart;
Just hold tight your bodies together.

Words were invented for commerce and trade,
Not the language of love to convey.
When love is assaulted with evil intent;
Just hold close your bodies together.

Then on reflection when you look back,
At those times your love was attacked,
Maybe you will remember you followed the advice,
Just hold close your bodies together.

The Gathering.

People gathered from all around,
Well figuratively speaking anyhow.
Gathered to hear the reason why,
So close a couple now to divide.

Divide possessions gathered in life;
Divide their lives so intertwined;
Divide their friendships loose and close;
Divide their families con and pro.

'We cannot understand', the common cry;
'We thought it impossible', they sob and sigh;
'We saw no sign, no indication';
'We're hurt and shocked', there's indignation.

Who can give some satisfaction;
Some reason to calm enquiring minds.
There's a yearning need for explanation;
Is there rational to deliver some credence?

Is it possible to satisfy such need;
To navigate through complex emotions;
To give logical sense to things of the heart;
To justify the move from closeness to apart?

But the gathering will persist,
The need for a simple reason why.
The head insists on a party to blame;
It's someone's fault we feel such pain.

So we'll pick and choose the best we can;
Settling our mind that we understand.
One or the other must be at fault
Hard to accept, no sin afoot.

Try to resist such temptations,
Just love them both, if you can.
No one's to blame for the situation,
It happened lacking premeditation.

No one to blame. No one.

Sometimes.

How to answer, 'How are you today? '
'Different than yesterday. Tomorrow? Who can say? '

Sometimes weak and mystified;
Sometimes strong and justified.

Sometimes mind all confused;
Sometimes clear, no ambiguity.

Sometimes see logical process;
Sometimes heart in a mess.

Sometimes hard and uncaring;
Sometimes concern overbearing.

Sometimes sleep brings relief;
Sometimes dreams induce reality.

Sometimes content and at peace;
Sometimes on verge of despondency.

Sometimes can see end of grief;
Sometimes no sign of relief.

Sometimes there's ease of ache;
Sometimes pain's unbearable.

Sometimes silence helps the mood;
Sometimes chatter incessantly.

Sometimes nature lifts the soul;
Sometimes the spirit dead and cold.

Sometimes prayers for help;
Sometimes cursing God Himself.

So if you ask, 'How are you today? '
'Sometimes bad. Sometimes ok'.
Is all I can truly say.

Just a wild flower.

Rosebay Willowherb's seeds blow away;
Fluffy white stars gone to germinate.
Clouds and clouds the wind has caught;
First time my eyes have seen this sight.

The flower that recalls the day we wed;
‘Loneliness defeated', so it was said.
Was it possible for love to blossom;
In soil tainted with much sorrow?

Pure as snow the flower's seeds;
Set free to wander on the breeze.
Reach out; try to catch a few.
Darting, diving, they'll tease you.

So much to loose, so much delight;
Dance in a dream with beautiful Pol.
So much bitterness and resentments, too.
Could Solomon solve such a to-do?

Soon the plant will be stripped bare;
Flowers faded, seeds in the air.
Its cyclic season has been completed;
From seed to seed, never defeated.

Now it's over after three short decades;
A parting that's threatened frequently.
Many problems we faced as a couple;
Were they the glue that bound us together?

Our wedding flower stands tall and proud;
Not weighed down by feelings and ego.
Was Oscar right when he wrote,
‘Man always kills the thing he loves'?

Moods.

Will she ever be out of my mind?
Night and day she haunts my life.
Why not move on, live my time?
Images of joy and pain won't pass by.

Time heals; or so they say.
Time a commodity I can't waste.
Time to bring peace of soul.
Time? Is there enough before I go?

New or old, whatever I try,
All result in same malaise.
Things come alive when we share;
And never again will she be there.

Excuse the moment, wallowing in grief;
It'll pass on like a stealthy thief.
Tomorrow will be different, a day to enjoy;
Concentrate on the cerebral, ignore the heart.

Unconditional love

Can love be unconditional?
Mothers may say it is so.
Lovers don't ask such a question,
So consumed in their burning passion.

Can love still be given,
When in return there is derision?
Does love sustain itself,
Or wither and die without reciprocation?

Snowdrops

Snowdrops appearing everywhere.
What was the real reason for going separate ways?

Little white heads drooping shy.
Was it open awareness of my dark inner self?

Plants once buried now with renewed life.
Ridicule of weakness at the core of my soul?

Battered and smothered, the Snowdrops survived.
Knowledge of knowledge love could not withstand?

Flowers giving support by company in groups.
Confirmation of guilt only solitude can bare?

Flowers with the purity of life.
Stark contrast to my darker side.


All those years

All those years we spent together,
Too often in hope it would be better.
Needing to touch and feel close;
Usually a reason why not possible.

Can love really blossom,
If differences in how it's demonstrated?
Heart and needs must be in tune,
To achieve healing and affirm.

Good times were also shared;
Common interests at the fore.
Not to compensate when need was great,
For understanding and just say, 'You're OK'.

Some may ponder, 'Why such a little thing',
Breaking a relationship of thirty years?
But little things are the building blocks,
From which great mountains soar.

Our Fred.

Fred lives in the whirl of dreams,
Far removed from life's realities.
Fantasies woven from factual glimpses;
Fairy tales intertwined with worldly things.

Fred won't accept such assessment,
Believes his hopes could be realised.
Even when smitten with disenchantment,
Thinks his hopes are based on love.

Poor Fred even with expectations shattered,
Clinging to his hapless expectations;
Hoping next time will be different;
Grasping stars still his ambition.

Is Fred alone with such visions?
Paradise lost before achieved;
Heart yearning for things impossible;
Lacking judgement and common sense.

Yet sometimes in a life of stress,
Many are touched by the thrill of happiness.
Love becoming a tangible reality;
Grab to hold before it vanishes.

Perhaps Fred isn't alone,
With his dreams and false hopes.
Is seeking love in all its forms,
The real norm for us all?

Maybe Fred has experienced love;
Felt the warmth of affirmation.
Now searching for that once known;
Perhaps not such a fool after all.

Still

Still she pops into my head
Stabbing stomach ache resulting
Will I never be over these thoughts?
Though not as strong, always disturbing

Still the same pattern they follow
Hate, anger, longing, acceptance
Their passage much quicker in pace
Always left feeling lonely and empty

Still over and over revisit that time
Trying to analyse what took place
Give some order to those events
Find the reason why it had to end

Still don't understand, was it her I wanted?
Or a kindling of what hungry heart demanded
Apart from intimacy there was little between us
Yet sensed deep needs desperate for merger

Still will never know the answer to such questions
If not clear now never will be
Just have to accept the obvious
The coming together was disaster

Still time will heal and all this will pass
Buried in history where it will rest
Other relationships will fill my needs
But will never trust contact her and me

Better

Better ignoring than responding
When the cord starts vibrating

Better resistance than surrender
When ache overwhelms you

Better bad times than good
When memories are stirred

Better realism than dreams
When hungry heart roams free

Better insult than compliment
When longing for her company

Better anger than concern
When heart starts to hurt

Better distain than care
When beset by despair

Better loathing than longing
When thrown into grieving

Better stranger than friend
When reclaiming self-dignity

Better hating than loving
When seeking indifference

Question

The unanswered question throughout the ages
Baffling all the various ‘ologies'
Hurts and joys fill our lives
Are these what make us who we are?

There's no order in such a conclusion
Assuming we have no controlling influence
There would be no point in existence
If merely bouncing to fate's insistence

Better to believe we're stronger than that
Possess all we need for complete happiness
The spirit holding all the building blocks
Our choice to construct the being that's us

It's the model we make that can beat fate
Designed with awareness of path to take
Weakness and opposition will be overcome
Joy, peace and contentment achieved through love

Seems so obvious when you think of it
The need for love's at the core of all of us
'Giving and receiving for the welfare of each'
The simple answer of what we're meant to be

Not so simple when put in practice
Too much fear, too much timidity
Ego fighting against vulnerability
Spirit struggling in limitations of humanity

Recovery

When the ache has seeped away
Heart returning to pumping ways
Time to reflect and wonder why
Such ebb and flow engulfs me

There never was a relationship to fail
No commitments or promises made
Little in common to bind together
No big physical attraction present

So why smothered with sense of loss?
There's only one cause, the intimacy
Not the physical relief of lust
But its symbolism of couple love

Right from puberty it's been the same
When young, wrongly linked to family
Believed to have resulted from nurturing
Now known to be at my heart's core

Relationships can be on even keel
Sharing, enjoying as suits the needs
But once bodies are joined together
To me, a sign that love's being sought

The ache comes from no hope of her love
Not loss of company, for that never was
Even realisation of this knowledge
Won't stop its return when heart hurts

Just a bit

Just a bit of fun
Not to hurt anyone
Some comfort and joy
In our lives

Tranquil peace
Shared by each
To laugh not cry
Uplifted not dry

A little love
Just for healing
Sense of belonging
That's affirming

To feel good
About ourselves
Too much to seek?
But it's just a bit

Sensible head

Such highs, such lows
Better to be just friends

So much joy, so much woe
Better to be just friends

Such desire, such hurt
Better to be just friends

So much passion, so much regret
Better to be just friends

Such awareness, such blindness
Better to be just friends

So much acceptance, so much jealousy
Better to be just friends

Such love, such loathing
Better to be just friends

So much dreaming, so much sense
Better to be just friends

Such weakness, such strength
No choice but accept, just friends

So much high, so much low
Only my friend's joy in my field to sow

Arms

Arms stretched to furthest point
Reaching out to touch the sky
Fingers tight locked in vice grip
Longing to become just one skin

Soothing touch of bodies close
Nature dispelling life's woes
Minds resting in timeless peace
Essence of spirits in harmony

Forms fitting like comfy glove
Interlocked like puzzle pieces
Can't be chance made this way
Had to be moulded together

Total wholeness of kindred souls
Loneliness on the wind blown away
Gift of love we're meant to share
Mutual healing of feeling good

Care

All about is brighter and clear
Keen awareness of everything
Numbed senses been revived
Heart bursting with intensity

No mystery underlying the cause
Always been known throughout life
Sorrow and despair blown away
With just a touch conveying care

Feeling special, the pinnacle of life
Nothing on earth matters at all
No wealth, no possessions can surpass
That intangible magic of being loved

Years have passed with emptiness
Fading hopes of true happiness
Reached the point, it had gone by
Then someone special touched my heart

Different dance

To dance is always a delight
Like playing a part in a musical
No self consciously holding back
Mind transported to another place

Movements to convey interpretation
Of different melodies being played
The mood of each dance changing
Depending on beat or lyric phrasing

But dancing with someone loved
Moves the experience to a new level
No longer playing a role
Now it's truly of the soul

Magnetic pull of bodies close
Tantalising nearness of the hold
Eyes conveying unspoken thoughts
Opportunity to risk a passing brush

More than an invitation to dance
A platform for continuing romance
Even though in a public forum
Loving touches can be stolen

Searching for words

I need to keep telling you how much I care
As if you were here by my side
But I just can't do justice
To the feelings I have for you

How is it possible to put into words?
When all are inadequate for purpose
Misused words have abused and confused
Even ‘love' can be used meaning ‘possession'

If you were close no words I'd need
Just to hold your hand, your head on my shoulder
You'd sense my heart beating for you
Wanting to encompass you in it

So few weeks I've known you
So little time we've spent together
So many things to catch up on
Years ago I should have sought you

No sense in dwelling on the past
The only real thing is the moment
To make you happy my only intent
Your beautiful smile to reward me

Tuesday dance

Want to dance with you tonight
Hold you close but not too tight
Feel your breath upon my face
Nuzzle your neck but must resist

Move to the music, you in my arms
Thrill to the touch you always bring
Electric shock stirrings coming alive
Desire you so much but must resist

Lightly hold hands in your lap
Feel the warmth of your close thigh
Watch that smile light up your face
Caress those lips but must resist

Follow you in the Line Dance routine
Just can't get hang, which foot to lead
Hope you help with gentle push and pull
An opportunity to hold you but must resist

Share a Guinness, soil the floor
Share a chuckle at my poor pour
Enjoy the taste but much more the sharing
Long to be alone with you but must resist

Leave at eleven, they're closing the door
The night's passed too quickly once more
Walk to your car, our lips briefly touch
Yearning to follow you but must resist

Slowly drive home on empty roads
Still sense your touch, though alone
The thrill of the night lingering on
Never want it to end but must resist

Just a meal

To eat with you is divine
Enjoying a meal together
As in everything we do
It's the sharing that matters

Such a simple thing it seems
Satisfying the body's hunger
What makes it so special?
It's the sharing that matters

It's not important the venue or meal
Weatherspoons or Café de Paris
Fish and chips on Blackpool beach
I know it'll be the sharing that matters

Something special in eating together
Satisfying a basic essential of life
Like all our needs for happiness
It's the sharing that really matters

Driving home

Driving home through the mist
Tranquil feeling of utter bliss
Air is soft, peaceful and calm
Can still feel you in my arms

Heart is full of your presence
As if you were there beside me
I've not left you behind
Distance can't divide us

Tug on the string

Just a tug the only need
Not even that, just a feel
Ready and eager to respond
Waiting for the pull on the cord

Even when distracted, so it seems
Something inside waiting patiently
Does the need traverse space
Are the pulls self induced?

Mind settled on other things
Response deadened, or thought to be
That little hook buried deep inside
Eager to sense any snag on string

Vowed never be in this position
Ego to dominate such a state
No energy needed for this tug
Waiting hunger is enough

Perhaps the vastness of the care
Greater than I dare admit
Why else such continuing need
To feel excited by vibrating string

Pain

Sometimes the pain is unbearable
Overwhelming in its intensity
More severe than physical blows
In my heart the bruises show

Try as I may, can't push aside
Even distractions don't survive
Though there's knowledge it will pass
The hurt will decide how long to last

No logic for such strong feelings
For never a hope this love could bring
But the mind stands no chance
When the heart feels so very sad

Even after periods in female company
Still this uninvited ache rips through me
She feels so close, reach out and touch
But time and needs, barriers between us

After so many years of starvation
False hopes brought such elation
But dammed before it even began
Only pain the inevitably outcome

Need to write down this ode
Though pride diminished by it
The scribbling helps restore perspective
Dampen the swing of agitated pendulum

Water bliss

Once upon a time a Crab and a Fish met
Dancing in bliss in their aqua heaven
'Hallo Mr Fish. You look fine'
'Come on Crabby. Please be mine'

So off they swam in unison
Sharing dreams and visions
Having found each other
Is this the end of their story?

Perhaps leave them be for a while
Then see what happens in their tale

But do they understand the dangers they face?
Not from within but out of their space
Have they the strength to hold firm?
When assailed by unimportant things
Will the joy they give each other
Overshadow complacency?

Why bring up negative notions?
Awareness will ensure their survival
Every story deserves a happy ending
Relating joy, peace and contentment

'Oh Mr Fish. We came together so quickly'
'Don't knock it brown eyes. Just call us lucky'
'What draws us so close Mr Fish? '
'Who knows my beauty? '
'Maybe exchanging bits one to the other'

Keswick

To Keswick I want us to go
Just drawn there, don't know why
Dinky streets a timeless view
Park and lake beauties like you

There's a little theatre close by
Shall I book us seats side by side?
No idea what will be on
Doesn't matter if we're as one

If sad play we can cry none stop
Perhaps music making us need to hop
Daft drama, not understood
We'll still find something to give us fun

Joy on joy there's house-selling shops
Real estate for your artistic gaze
I can watch you imagining reconstruction
Seeing you happy my satisfaction

So come on soul mate, say yes
Crack the shell, take the chance
Set the soul free to run wild
Your vulnerability safe in my hands

Fairy gate

Fairy gate hidden from sight
Corner of steps to Mrs Cs
Snugly fitted in such a way
Only obvious when shown its place

Fairy gate where do you lead?
What treasures lie beyond my reach?
Perhaps just a mill for magic dust
Or treasured secrets of exciting love

Fairy gate show me the key
That opens the door and lets me in
I hunger for the power that you can give
Do I have to wait endlessly?

Mr P don't fret away
There is no secret that lies within
The magic rests in your heart
Love will blossom if in tune with hers

But I need her now to hold close
Feel her heart beat, pull her toes
Fun in her company, dance through the air
Everyone needs close companion to share

I know Mr P that's your human state
Incomplete without loving mate
But don't you see that's only possible
With two hearts that beat in unison

The key to try is just be yourself
Turn it carefully with tender care
Her key she'll use on the other side
If door stays shut don't be surprised

Don't be sad if there's no way in
Eventually you'll see it's the best to be
Walk away, your heart at rest
Treasuring the thrills of trying its best

Hurts

So much pain we carry in our hearts
The slightest mention can bring alive
Hurts first suffered years gone by
Still not quelled by passing time

Confiding with a listener brings no relief
Transient settling then again buried deep
Can healing only occur when love is shared?
Bringing new life and a spirit whole again

Masks

God, rid us of these masks we wear
Hiding those feelings we fear to share
Only chance of experiencing love
Vulnerability and openness

de Mello's right, the truth we fear
Even though the spirit urges to seek
See the example in the innocent child
No masks there to hide behind

Almost as plain as the nose on the face
'Walk in their shoes'. 'Empathy reigns'
Peace and love from real understanding
Why need masks for imagined enmities?

Is this the cross we bare with life?
Born without masks, free as the air
Soon fear drives us to seek shelter
Outer crusts for ego's protection

The irony is these shells don't defend
The spirit's trapped, can't influence
Life's solutions and joys pass on by
God, please destroy the masks we wear

Just sometimes

Occasionally I find in life
Happenings to confirm my ideals
Indications to justify the search
The discovery of true identity

Sometimes simple, little things
Normally passed by unseen
But huge in their influence
Proving ideals not just woolly dreams

One commonality they all share
Conveying love in one of its forms
Bringing joy, healing, affirmation
Showing someone they're cared for

Just as observer is sufficient
No need to be recipient
Witnessing love in action
My heart is uplifted