Lost Without You Poem by Angela Bontle Ditumiso

Like hitting frozen waters with soft hands
I'd try this life thing and come out bruised
I'd take gulps of air but like micro-pins it pierced my lungs
It hurt to breathe

My joy was an appliance with a broken fuse
But every day I'd try to find out if a miracle didn't become of it
If it wasn't restored somehow

Nights would come and I'd be pitch black with gloom
Friends with doom
Couldn't tell where our seams went different ways
It seemed to me we had become one
Especially when time came and I couldn't tell day from night
It's true, without God
Nothing good can be harvested

It was two years since the last time I went to church
I had lost peace for as long as I had lost my way
Christ on the cross
Why didn't it cross my mind that all I was lacking was God
I tried to make life outside of, everything was made by Christ for Christ
Couldn't make anything from the rubble that had become of me
What could become of me when I wasn't on the right hand of my father

I felt like I was to broken to be salvaged
Too broken to be saved
Too broken to be restored
I yearned for warmth but I was afraid to go home
I yearned for love but chose to suffer in my lonesome

But then I started withering away
Realized that on my own I couldn't survived
Thought maybe if I went back home
My father would take me back
And home I went as tattered and frail as I was
And God is love
And God is ever merciful
With open arms he received me yet again
Told me you are my child and you are loved