Loo Prints Poem by Phil Soar

They've replaced the ladies toilets
with a Rank xerox machine
there are those who think it's suitable
and some who think it's mean
when ladies go to piddle
or do a number two
they get a photo-copy
with the time stamped on in blue

Now there are those who simply cannot
and some who say they can
do a dirty in the loo
while there's flashing in the pan
but so far there's no evidence
of loitering with intent
and no truth in the rumours
the staff manager is bent

There is talk of someone taking prints
and selling them in pairs
but all you get for 50 pence
are prints of curly hairs
so beware of the ladies lavatory
there lurks a manic flasher
and when you go to drops your pants
you better be a dasher