Lone Despair: The Longer I Get To Know A Person, The Less Likely, Inclined I Am To Become Long-Term Friends Poem by Dennis Ryan

begun Tuesday night, August 1, 2023 at 11: 36 p.m. and finished after midnight on August 2, 2023 at 12: 05 a.m.; continued on Wednesday morning, August 2, 2023 at 7: 12
a.m. and concluded at 9: 20 a.m.; Friday morning, August 4, 2023, begun at 7: 48 a.m. and concluded at 8: 06 a.m.; Tuesday morning, August 8, 2023, begun at 6: 24 a.m. and concluded at 6: 38 a.m.

—this poem is dedicated to S, a new friend of mine, in hopes that this new friendship will endure for some time; well, "we will see" how it goes …

"And I see that I am not one voice, but many: all colors, all sounds, all fears, all loves."
—epigraph by Joy Harjo, American poet, musician and activist

" … He chose to include the things
That in each other are included, the whole,
The complicate, the amassing harmony."
—Wallace Stevens, from "Notes Toward A Supreme Fiction"

The longer I get to know a person, the less likely,
inclined I am to become long-term friends with him
or her—problems always seem to arise that cannot
be solved. For example, the rich—the richer the person
the more self-interested; the vast majority of the rich don't
reach out to others, don't sympathize, empathize, share,
are, in a word 'unaware' of others—they just tend to acquire
and acquire, and have little interest in others who are not
rich like themselves. My sister Mary Ryan-Poppendeck
typifies this way of thinking: she has difficulty getting past herself to think about, to help others outside her immediate family. She always talks about herself—her interests, her children, her wants, her likes and dislikes. There is, after all,
the manor house in the hills above Oxford, Ohio she need
tend to, more space than anyone could ever need—and still… Perhaps most of the rich, the very-well-to-do are like Mary—they can't get past themselves, actually 'see' others for who they are—"the other' only frightens them, makes manifest
fears of the unknown, the unmet, the unexperienced.

I don't know what to do to facilitate, to change things,
to alleviate—it seems fate has smiled, then destiny,
and 'we have become the present'—fear-filled as people
are, our destinations, purposes differing, varying, being
multifarious, constantly in conflict. The very poor are no
better, but for different reasons—terrible wants, needs overpower them. Again, I don't know what I to do, do
to facilitate change—change comes from within, from
life-altering experiences. Perhaps, like Ishmael, we all
should take to the whale ship, become whalers like him—
whaling proved to be the great equalizers for crews—
one's ability, daring and courage aboard a whaler could
not be bought and sold—no, no buying or selling courage,
only whale oil at the then-market price. In the end, I am
simply looking for persons with whom, through experience,
I can find common ground, commerce to plow new ground—
no easy task I am afraid. Reader, help me, make some suggestions that may bring me some peace, rest, resolution.
You yourself may be the key, may hold, may be the answer.