Letter To My Mom Poem by Oduetse Gabonnwe

Why have you had to leave me?
I thought we were connected when I first developed in your womb
You carried me for 9 months and throw me away thereafter
I’m all alone with no shoulder to lean on
Everybody is deserting me (with no friends, family)

I spoiled everything for someone who cared much about me
He did everything in his power to make me happy
Caressed me and gave me the love I never had
But I threw it all away, now he is gone!
I feel like if you were around I could have seen life differently

I never had love from my daddy
And the woman he is married to has never been good to me
Granny did her best and treated me like her own daughter
She gave me love and made an effort to see me happy
But I’m still asking myself questions with no answers
Why didn’t you at least say goodbye?
Man usually don’t take care of their kids
But for a mother just to throw away a kid doesn’t make sense. Why me?

I’m angry deep down and I don’t know what to do to feel better
It hurts me every time when I look around to see everyone happy
And ask God why can’t I just be like those people for once?
Do I deserve to be this miserable?
How do I express my anger?
I pretend to always be this happy girl but it’s killing me
Because I’m not being myself, all the time
Maybe life could have been different if you were around

I don’t know what happiness is
I get haunted every time I think of you
Because I’ve got questions that only you can answer
I don’t think I’ll ever be happy in my life
I don’t have a place I can call home like every body
I don’t have parents who would treat me like I am their kid

There is nothing I can do to be part of their family
Because blood is thicker than water and I’m not one of them
Why can’t you just avail yourself? So that I can be free mentally and emotional
Have a pleasure of having something I’ve been longing for (Family love)

You left me…..