Lest I Admit My Defeat Poem by Charmaine Sinclair

Lest I admit my defeat
I turn my face from thee

No, do not wander, down,
where my lips are gnawed
and do not trace them, ever,
with a look that is so tender

O! How I wish I could stand,
independently
Without leaning on any man;
may the heavens fall to earth
if I ever lean on thee!

Do not brush thy finger
its touch so whisper light
for I shiver in both
fear and in delight

If my hand should be as white,
as white as soft first winter's snow
clenched as tight as it could go,
do not try to let it go

Despair! Why? I cannot escape
How I wish that I could flee
my own defeat....
How I wish that I could flee;
Willingly!

...Do not draw me closer...
feet! dare not move
Or rest my head on thy chest
No! It is not warm!

Do not utter my name
warm against mine ear
that it so completely seems
Thou hold its owner dear!

Love, I bid thee let me go...
Lest I should admit...
Do not gently stroke
and murmer soothing words...

Lest I should admit...
all that I hold dear...
all that I hold dear,
is thee.