Irma Ipswitch And The Almost New Spell Poem by Richard D Remler

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Try to keep out of her way.
Stay safe and stay hid and stay well.
Before Irma sneaks over today
With the seeds of an almost new spell

She's been working so hard to perfect,
And has figured it out I suspect.
And hasn't a qualm or a quim,
To practice it out on a whim.

I'm sure she'll be smiling wide.
She'll be beaming real friendly inside.
She'll knock on the door and say, "Hey,
Would you like to come outside and play? "

Yet, once you're out there in the blue,
Ah, there's something she's fixing to do,
She's patient, be certain of that.
And she has some surprises for you.

She may nod you her own due respects.
She might seem awful grim and complex.
But she'll be itchin' to trouble and vex ~
With an almost brand new sort of hex.

She'll remember the day that you said
She had boogers all over her head.
Or the time your dog pee'd on her knee,
When she was as nice as can be.

And once you made her tear up and cry
When you stepped on her pet dragonfly.
She had trained it so well,
And it wore its own bell,
'til the moment it met its untimely goodbye.

You oughta just stay home and hide
Where the mouse and the beetle reside.
Where the dust bunnies go
And you never get snow,

And the centipedes glow
And the dusty spores grow.
And stay there as safe as can be,
Where the great Irma Ipswitch can't see!

Because she'll be working her cauldron right well.
She'll be concocting and crafting a grand little spell.
For the moment she knows you are
Idling by,
You'll be gobbling up every spider and fly.

You'll be eetching with warts on your fingers and toes.
And you'll have all kinds of dangly things on your nose.
You might even light up in the dark.
And I dare say you're probably going to bark.

Just try and keep out of her way.
Hide in the din with the dark and the gray,
Under your Grandmum's polyester and plaid.
At least until Irma is no longer mad.


Copyright © MMXIV Richard D. Remler