Insomnia Poem by ashley brooks

I go back to black.

When you're not here to hold me,
when I step on the scale.

I go back to black. There can be no gray when your mind is black.

White is a white room, with the door locked.
Intense black and intense white is:
60,50,40 30,20,10,5,3,
0 lbs.

You have a shield from life,
that will leave your life closing, fading, dead.

But right now, I'm not sure what color I am.

I weighed myself this morning.

My soul sank,
for I'd made unforgivable mistakes.

Nude is bare, but large.

I can't sleep.
I took seven benzos on Tuesday. I'm dry.

My mind restless, reckless.

I want yo fade away,
I don't want to feel.

Anything, anything but you.
I don't know why you stay around,
seeing my nude body almost daily.

Push me out, let me fade away.