If I touch an abyss I don't understand Poem by Els Moors

if I touch an abyss I don't understand
I live I am illuminated I'm burning
under the sun just like the sun I am
just like the sun

and light is streaming out

my changing shadows are as hard as diamonds
are stagnant years water bucket and a hole to fill
with home-made lemonade in a garden smoothed flat

while god disappears into the casino and begins to
bet a car on the head of every Chinese person
trees to plant and a cave
to sit and watch them from

is it done to let a poem about death
collapse under nothing more than the weight
of its own letters

does his love take me
to swimming pools in the summer and menus
chalked onto blackboards

when the coffee's finished
I get up to buy more
since it's the only thing keeping the end
within hand's reach

and the end always comes

Translation: Michele Hutchinson