If I Only Had You Poem by McDonald Mbejere

If I only had you
I'd maybe believe in dreams being true
I would find faith again
Marry you in a beautiful sunny rain
So it resonates with my joyful tears
And numbs the years full of fears
Of death being as certain as my solitude
And watch my mind as it clears,
Like clouds, in a lower altitude.
But I don't want you
You are evil incarnate
The maiden of all that is my suffering
I shall despise you with passion
And every November the most
Your impurity throws off my rhythm
Like a bad poem
A poem about love and how true it is
Because such luxury's existence has come to cease
But to please requires such heresy
And you are true to pleasure
So true that it is your nature;
Nurture to my hate
With all that is beautiful about you,
All that only I can see
So that we even the odds
Just maybe I might want you again
Despite all that is sane
I still have a future in your presence
Even if it's hating you enough to love you
Loathing you enough not to leave you
Because if not me, who else will be with you
And if not you, then what purpose is my existence;
We are a matching pair
Intertwined with thread and snare
You exist to push my limits
And I exist to embrace and care;
With you, I know no vanity
So if I only had you
I'd be perfect.