I Quit And Pickle Spit! Poem by Robert Edgar Burns

A pickle flew out of my mouth
When I told my boss “I quit! ”
It really was by accident,
But he swung at my face and missed!

His punch missed me by inches,
But my return swing leveled him.
He tried to stand and fell back down,
As I stood there with a grin.

At court he had to testify
Of charges he leveled at me.
And also other witnesses
Told of all that they did see.

The judge asked what had I told him,
Before the altercation did ensue,
He said I told him, “I quit” with a pickle spit
Then I punched him a time or two!

It was my turn to tell the truth,
And the judge did query me.
I answered, I said, “I quit” then pickle spit
Came a flying out casually.

“ I didn’t on purpose do that,
But I sure punched that old louse! ”
“It was self defense pure and simple,
On this you can bet your house! ”

The Bailiff passed around gherkins,
There was even a dill or two.
The judge replied next time I quit
Put my pickles down before I do!

If ever there’s a next time
And I have to quit some old bum,
You can bet your bottom dollar,
I’ll be chewing bubble gum!