'' I'm Now Walking Ten Feet Tall ''
At last I’ve passed my driving test,
I’ve always strove to do my best,
Driving fills me up with zest,
I thought I knew it all.
First insurance then road tax,
Cash, I’m going to need some sacks,
This has hit me to the max,
My finances have taken a fall.
Petrol, oil and servicing too,
Running costs I never knew,
This is making me feel blue,
My financier needs a call.
I’m not a movie superstar.
I can’t afford a fancy car,
With the average guy I’m on a par,
The one I’ve bought is small.
At last I’ve finally hit the road,
Driving carries a heavy load,
Did you know there was a penal code?
It really does appall.
I’ll tell you this here and now,
Motorists are a great cash cow,
The police and councils have made a vow,
Through our driving they will trawl.
Parking charges have hit the heights,
The police will have your name in lights,
They have you the motorist in their sights,
Their greed will never stall.
To them we’re all just easy money,
If truth be told they find it funny,
We’re there to make their budgets sunny,
As it’s to the depths they crawl.
Taxed to the hilt doesn’t pay for the roads,
Potholes caused by heavy loads,
Every other second a tyre explodes,
KWIK FIT is having a ball.
Don't dare park on rubbed out lines,
Never ignore those unclear signs,
Or you'll be facing hefty fines,
Soon bankruptcy will befall.
Though there are major crimes galore,
Catching criminals to them’s a chore,
That’s why us motorists are to the fore,
We’re like a great big shopping mall.
By hounding motorists their finances thrive,
While our budgets take a dive,
It’s such a struggle to stay alive,
While they dine in their city hall.
The roads all over are falling apart,
Repairs required they never start,
For driving I no longer have the heart,
It no longer does enthral.
You’re going too fast or perhaps too slow,
You’re interfering with traffic flow,
Catching you gives them a mighty glow,
It is anarchy they install.
Now I can park most anywhere I please,
Whilst reducing my risk of heart disease,
Wardens and the police I don’t need to appease,
Such contentment I just can’t recall.
I’ve now decided to pack driving in,
The car is destined for the scrap yard bin,
Against the establishment you just can’t win,
‘’ I’m Now Walking Ten Feet Tall ‘’
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(March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)
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