I'M Finding Myself Poem by Suburban Lovechild

I'm finding myself
Inside many sanguine moods
Inside many inviting worlds
All in anticipation
Of love
Not for anyone
Or anything
In particular
Just looking deep within
And deep beyond
The surface matters
That clog our anemic hearts
That jail our vapid senses
From welcoming epiphanies,
Ecstacies and
Electric declarations
That await our famished souls
From stoking incitements,
Boisterous joys
And elegant, mystical memories
Burning to lash out
Into indelible grins of
Happiness and you-so-deserve-this
Maybe it's this music
Charged with classical tantrums
And movie-like maudlin exclamations
Maybe it's my past revving up
With ghosts more handsome
And meaningful than ever
Or maybe it's my dreams
After years of desperate confusion,
Fractured esteem and salty embraces
Finally granted permission
To live in vividness
To dance the hues
The conniptions of color
Drooling endlessly from the mouths of our precious ids and willing egos
Summoning self, compassion and sacrifice
To adrenalin's edge
To flesh-removing, death-imbibing levels
This is where love resides
Here is where I visit
Here is where I wish to stay.

(7/2/12, West Los Angeles, CA)