I Get Lonely Too Poem by J M. Basey

See it’s not easy being me
My life at the moment is up and down
I got these fakers that are always in my shadow
And it's always causing me drama
Whenever I want to be on my own
Long before today
Someone told me
Got to be true, to what you want to do
And keep your mind alert
Cos things change
Then jealousy and pain become factors
So called friends verbally attacking me
Listen even when I’m on the floor
Aching all over and feeling sore
But even then they still keep on knocking on my door
And I got no time to worry
But for some reason
I sit waiting; wanting more
Every day is a test
I try hard
But I’m struggling with every breath
I think of my mum who I left at age seventeen at home
All alone
I ain’t trying to moan
You know I don’t talk to her much
By text or even over the phone
In my mind
That tears me apart
I can't take it
Open me up and look at my heart
Bet you its beating faster

I woke up today thinking why the hell did I leave you and went away
Up here people want to stir trouble with me
And I bet you’re thinking why the hell did you want to stay
But mum I do think of you from day to day
Do you want to know why?
Cos sometimes even I get lonely too

On the rare occasions
That I do ring you by phone
I want to tell you the truth
Even though I know I can't make it home
I want to tell you things
Like you’re near me
I wonder if you feel me
I wonder if you love me
From far away
Can you hear me
It seems to me
That sometimes you can’t

I’m up here doing what I got to do
With my friends and family
Taking care of them and looking out for them
When their feeling down and feeling hurt
With their tears hitting the timeless dirt
But hold on what about me
I get lonely too
But I'm a fighter
And there is no way I’m going to stop
Taking care of my friends and family
Even if they are acting funny
An always complaining about me
Saying I never have time
Just shut up and listen
Can't you see
I got enough stress on my mind
I’ll take care of you when I can
Sorry that I can’t help you
In your free time span
Get over it
Haven’t got nothing else to say to you
Except that
I get lonely too

I woke up today thinking why the hell did I leave you and went away
Up here people want to stir trouble with me
And I bet you’re thinking why the hell did you want to stay
But dad I do think of you from day to day
Do you want to know why?
Cos sometimes even I get lonely too

I sit alone outside smoking
Yes you heard me, smoking
Without a care
Talking out loud to you
Like your both really there
Got pictures of you both in my mind
Can you hear me
Your faces are the first ones I want to see
When I look up into the skies
I want to see you when the moon sets
Even in the morning when the sun rises
I ask you both for advice
In times of trouble
In times of despair
Do you think of me
Cos I think of you
It’s ever so unfair
What can I do now
I’m lost without your guidance

You both said to me
Before we leave this earth
We want to see you happy and settled
With a wife and kids
I still hold on tightly
To that one wish
Cos you never got to see it fulfilled
But look at me now I’m with my fiancée
I’ve got a daughter too
Your great granddaughter
Everything I’m showing you
Is so true

I woke up today thinking why the hell did you leave me and went away
Down here people want to stir trouble with me
And I bet you’re thinking don’t do anything stupid, just stay
But nanny and granddad I think of you from day to day
Do you want to know why?
Cos sometimes even I get lonely too

By Jay Basey © 2009