I Am What I Am Poem by Suzanne Hayasaki

I am as colorful as a chameleon.
I am as mercurial as clouds.
I am as acrobatic as an octopus,
Juggling time itself while spraying ink to distract you
From my true purpose:

Love!
In all its forms, shapes and colors.
I am nothing but love.
I sing from the trees.
I shine from the heavens.
I rise from the deepest depths of the ocean.

All for all of you.

It is you who bring me to life.
It is you who will my form out of chaos.
It is you who determine your own destinies.
In concert, in continuum, in saecula saeculorum.

It is to be with you that I come to life.
It is to breathe, to give birth, to stand by as loved ones fall
Before I finally succumb myself,
Once again,
That I rise,
Yet again.

It is my honor, my privilege, my reason for being to accompany you,
On the journey you yourselves have mapped out,
To the great unknown, known as the future,
Where all possibilities could never be made manifest.
That is the meaning of infinity, after all.

And so like an art teacher,
I set up my own easel in the middle of this mess that we call reality,
But which is really just a studio.
And I set to work on my own tiny canvas.
Yes, I know it stretches the length of a football field or two,
But what does size have to do with scale, anyway?

I mix my pigments, and stroke them boldly across the surface stretching out before me.
I have no fear of getting it wrong.
I have no understanding of the word “wrong”.
Nor of “beauty”.
Nor of “value”.
I only understand “process” “energy” “inspiration” “joy”!
I know that I can always blend new colors into a shade that does not suit me.
I know that if I walk away in frustration, I will return the next day in awe of what I could not see the day before.
I know that I always have the option of letting my work dry and painting over it completely,
Leaving future generations to examine it with X-rays and infrared light.
(It keeps them busy.)
I know that there is no deadline for the completion of my masterpiece,
Because I have no need for a public viewing,
At least within my lifetime.
In fact, I doubt that any of my work is ever meant to be appreciated within my lifetime.
That would go to my head.
That would lead me to believe that I had gotten it just right.
That I had created a lasting work meant to set the bar for other would-be artists.
I would believe myself to be a master.
When I know I am the eternal apprentice.
I will never get it “right” because there is no “right”.
I will never reach perfection, because that would be unnatural.
And in that you have an oxymoron.

And so I am content to play with my paint set.
Experimenting with new angles, new perspectives, new compositions, new styles.

Because I know that my composition not only reflects nature,
It brings it into being.

And that is an inspiration to All.

So pick up a paint brush and get to work.
You have a new world to create!
Your inner reality will react with All!
And that will change the world!