I Am Dead Part One: The Death Of My Heart Poem by Alex Fischer

Long, long ago in my heart so full and pure
I loved some and many more
But this one I loved so singularly and pure
And she loved me with her heart so young (of which I adore)

But one fateful day as to Heaven I did pray
“Please never let this love fade away
For I love this one as much as I say”

Heaven did not hear my prayer for on that day
That Angel of my heart’s demise struck me thrice
And there I bled eternally screaming, Love!

For a time I tried to love her to love again
Love flowed out from me like a fountain above
I loved and I loved and I loved her some more
Until I learned that she loved me that way
No more

A few weeks later I tried again
To love another Angel and see what would happen
And as my mind had expected
(Just like 24 times before)
She had turned me down and loved me
No more

So for weeks I walked in thought and remorse
As I realized each one I loved
Had treated me the same as before
What should I do?
Where should I go?
The answer to these questions missed me galore

I thought and I thought and I thought some more
Until the simple thought struck me like never before
“AHA! ” I yelled with delight in my eyes
(Not so much as delight, but despair, on that I lied)
I came to the conclusion one I had reached two times before
To live alone until one Angel could prove me wrong

To live in solitude and stealth
To be alone with few moments of happiness until one came
That would sweep me away and take me on that once wond’rous ride

I made an oath on that same day
The day that I arrived to that answer
I had sworn to myself
To never love again, never love anyone else
But that Angel I adore
But that once sweet Angel of my heart I adored
No more

Now as I lay here in my own sweet scented solitude
(With a bitter taste of course)
I revel in my accomplishments of my broken hearts galore
Shaking not so humbly as I repeat her name evermore
Loving no one but her
No more

Time will fly by
And feelings shall pass
But that feeling called love shall never come again
Except in the love for that once Angel of my heart
My love shall never waver for her
To no one else but her
No more

Even in my darkest times
As I lay here and die slowly
From the inside to eventually the out
The love I have for her shall grow stronger
And it shall fade away
No more

Now you may question and ask
As to why I say that my heart is dead
That inside I am black and cold like a stone
So this is the answer that I say to you
And listen well for it is pure and true

It is true that my heart is dead
I no longer feel that thing that makes it warm
I no longer strive to be with one
Yet, despite these things
Despite the fact that I cannot trust one with the most fragile thing I do possess
For the life of me (whatever little of that may be left)
I cannot break away from the thing that kept my life together
Day by day
No more

And so with that my dear friends
The ones I loved of ages past
Good-bye to you for you shall never come again
Good-bye to you for it is the end
For this heart of mine
Of a man so sweet and pure
Shall never start another flame
(Unless it is with the one I adore)
No more