I Am A Dreamer Poem by Jeri Martindale

I am a dreamer. I am floating across the night sky on a falling star; remembering the feeling that use to come to me as I looked in the mirror and believed something sexy and mysterious was staring back at me.
Where did this black whole come from that has gotten me off track, if you don’t mind sir, may I have my life back?

Each day I look at you searching for a sign that I am important to you every minute of the day and not just when you want to play.
This is a dream. She is a dream, she doesn’t even exist; did she ever exist in a way that could make me feel like this?

When was I locked into this tiny cage, to be taken advantage of, to be taken away from myself, to feel as if you would not mind if I sat here lonely, wondering, crying for affection.
Each time you look into my blue eyes, I want you to see past the color; I try so hard to express myself as I gaze into your eyes; I am searching for the look that I have never received from you.

I am dreaming, Lying here on a soft pillow, lonely once again; beginning to wonder if I should move on past the emotions you do not show me.
How did I not notice the key in my hand all along, why did you give it to me and hold me here this whole time; did I see the look as you realized what you had done, why turn your eyes to give the gift now, don’t you realize you hurt me each time?

I feel as though daggers are piercing my skin as you grab my hand to lead me back in, to “our home” you settle me down not realizing I need you to make me feel as if I am floating on the clouds.
It was not a dream. I look at your straight face every day. I know now you are the cold hard truth. Now I know why you gave me that gaze, for you wanted what you get each time you turn your eyes this way.

I am at the bottom of your to-do list today, for I will be here waiting for you each and every day, locked inside a small cage; I never will get out unless somehow, miraculously you realize that I do need to get away.
Each morning I awake, sometimes you are by my side, only then I feel I must roll over and let the tears fall down whether it be you I am staring in the face or nothing at all.

Jeri Clawson
November 14,2004