I Always Smile Nicely Poem by Hugh Fraser

I always smile nicely
and play by the rules,
and as a result
am surrounded by fools.

My tongue is too floppy;
my thoughts remain hid.
With my dearth of directness
I'll never be rid

of car-crazy cretins
and lager-lout loons,
name-dropping ninnies
and brainless buffoons.

To escape from this onslaught,
to shrug off this curse,
I hope I need only write
one simple verse.

But of course they'll not hear me.
They'll read what I write
and express their distress
at my terrible plight.

But just in case: Fools!
You all make me sick.
Your mouths are too wide
and your skulls are too thick

And the space that you fill
- and I'm only being fair -
is better employed
by ten gallons of air.

What I do's not better
and yes, I may moan,
but at least, very kindly,
I leave you alone.