How They Live Poem by Ailish Canning

How They Live



Theres a world aroud this corner,
And i wonder how they live.
There life is full of dirt and muck,
There world is like a sive.
I never hear them worry or talk,
never even cry,
sometimes i wonder how they live, even without a whine.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Robin Bennett 18 July 2012

Aillish, first thing I noticed are the grammatical errors. One line one I would use There is instead of Theres. On lines 3 and 4 it should be their instead of there. The word sive is spelled sieve. I'm honestly not the type to critique as I hate it. I am used to being supportive and not critical. Please don't think me mean! The ending line I just don't find it fits in. I can't explain it anyother way than it just doesn't do anything for the poem. Off to read your others. -Robin xoxo

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