Him Poem by miski abshir

“STOP IT, ” I yelled to the empty room, I wanted myself to stop thinking about him. Darien was a murderer, he killed people, he was a monster, he wasn’t even human, and he was my best friends brother. My mind didn’t listen, as I drifted unconscious his face played across my dreams and I imagined him being close to me, I could almost feel his deep steady breaths, so far apart. I could smell the fresh night air, I could feel his eyes watching me. “Hey, ” I whispered, I had no voice, I had no power, I had no control, he was in the perfect position to kill me, I would never be able to move, to react.
I opened my eyes, he was there, he was real, I wasn’t dreaming, he had a dagger in his hand, it looked like glass, with a ruby handle and gold scrollwork, the blade was sharp, I could feel it against my stomach, he had me. Then suddenly he flew back, it took me a moment to process, the weight lifted, he was pushed against my living room wall, then he ran onto my deck. I got up and ran after him. He wasn’t there, the cold was sharp, I couldn’t stay out there. I didn’t even ask how he got down, I had been saved by him, I knew what he could do.
Had he tried to kill me?
Why didn’t he?
What happened?

I didn’t have a answer to these questions, all I knew was that I had to stay away from him, no matter how badly I didn’t want to. Although I knew he could kill me easily, I felt that I was safe with him, I wanted to be with him, even just in the same room. I wanted to feel his presence again, it was addicting, he was my own personal strain of heroin, and I couldn’t get enough. Tomorrow, I forget him, I promise, If only I had known what was going to happen…
I may sound crazy, my thoughts may not make sense, but I couldn’t tear myself away from it, the very thing that made it crazy, made it consume me, a beautiful demon, and a wonderful angel. Dark does not always equate to evil, and light does not always equate to good, I didn’t get that until I met darien, although he was evil, and he made no attempt to hide it, he was best thing that ever happened to me. I might not live through this, so know this, even if he kills me, even if I kill him, I do and always will, love him.