Spike Milligan

(16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002 / Ahmednagar)

Have A Nice Day Poem by Spike Milligan

'Help, help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'
'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.
'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'
'Yes, I know, I heard you before.
Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You, see I've got a disease.
I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.'
'How long, ' said the man who was drowning. 'Will it take for the Doc to arrive? '
'Not very long, ' said the man with the disease. 'Till then try staying alive.'
'Very well, ' said the man who was drowning. 'I'll try and stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he wrote.'
'Help, help, ' said the man with the disease, 'I suddenly feel quite ill.'
'Keep calm.' said the man who was drowning, ' Breathe deeply and lie quite still.'
'Oh dear, ' said the man with the awful disease. 'I think I'm going to die.'
'Farewell, ' said the man who was drowning.
Said the man with the disease, 'goodbye.'
So the man who was drowning, drownded
And the man with the disease past away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in my flat,
It's been a very nice day.

Submitted: Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Edited: Thursday, October 27, 2011

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Read poems about / on: farewell, fire, poem

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Comments about this poem (Have A Nice Day by Spike Milligan )

  • Rookie - 0 Points Elton Tran (2/26/2015 3:11:00 PM)

    This is definitely one of his better poems: D (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 5,455 Points Savita Tyagi (11/4/2014 7:31:00 PM)

    Trick for having a nice day is not to burden yourself with things that you can't help! Good light hearted poem to read. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 984 Points Oduro Bright Amoh (11/4/2014 5:33:00 PM)

    Very pleasant and very soothing. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,153 Points Kevin Patrick (11/4/2014 3:07:00 PM)

    Perfect poem to read when having a bad day, I can see where the Python act got their best bits. The lesson learned When dying always remain calm, and never let it get you down. It has been a very nice day. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,467 Points Kay Staley (11/4/2014 10:08:00 AM)

    Very pleasant and hints of being well written. I like the irony of the situation but I dont understand why you would write something like this. I do truly appreciate the lack of compassion and coldness that shines through in the most natural ways. Sometimes I wish we could all be emotionless. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,486 Points John Richter (11/4/2014 7:46:00 AM)

    I think this was meant from the start to be humorous, and I think he well accomplished that! Certainly a pleasant read but it leaves me wondering if there was indeed a fire in his apartment that day.... (Report) Reply

    Gold Star - 12,060 Points Kim Barney (11/4/2014 6:31:00 PM)

    It most certainly was meant from the start to be humorous, and there was no fire. That was just his final touch, his punch line.

  • Silver Star - 3,373 Points Patricia Grantham (11/4/2014 7:39:00 AM)

    An enjoyable poem that was artistically written. Tale
    of two people that needed help. In the end both
    succumbed to death. Ultimately death gained the
    upper hand. Good. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 13,881 Points * Sunprincess * (6/18/2014 4:37:00 PM)

    ..........a powerful message delivered in a humorous way....help others in order to ensure there will be someone to help you....hope you were able to extinguish the fire....loved reading every line....adding to my poem collection.... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 131 Points Valentin Savin (11/6/2013 1:08:00 AM)

    If you can't help someone, Death is ready to help you. (Report) Reply

    Veteran Poet - 1,471 Points Sue Eckstein (11/4/2014 8:57:00 AM)

    love your wit!

  • Rookie - 866 Points Liliana ~el (11/4/2013 4:48:00 PM)

    Omigawsh hilarious. The doctor! ! Well, this is of course also tragic. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,158 Points Tiku . (11/4/2013 6:58:00 AM)

    beautiful write.enjoyed. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,022 Points Wahab Abdul (11/4/2013 12:50:00 AM)

    wonderful! light and enjoyable.. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Caroline Bulleck (11/4/2012 10:08:00 PM)

    This is funny, sad and altogether, a pretty good poem that's fun to read. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 33 Points Mark Dillon (9/23/2012 9:01:00 AM)

    the genius of Spike, this is so well written and funny even in resulting deaths, a pun at how rediculous life can be at times (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Michelle Freeman (11/6/2011 8:53:00 PM)

    no kidding, sarcasm not withstanding. this is good, this is soooo good. sick and twisted but good. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Vanessa Everts (1/7/2009 5:26:00 PM)

    very funny..i liked it 10! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Leslee Malloy (9/30/2007 2:08:00 PM)

    I first heard this poem on Radio 4 'Pick of the week' about 3 years ago or so and it was read by Eddie Izzard. Who I might add read it so well and I think this was why it left such an impression on me, just a great poem.
    I just love Spike's humour he was such a talented man, some of his poems make you laugh, others make you cry and some just 'pure zany' a real pleasure. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie A . (5/16/2006 2:44:00 PM)

    Hehehe :)
    Good One! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Martin Shore (2/20/2006 2:30:00 AM)

    I agree with you, Beca, Spike Milligan is a master in comedy, I read his poems and listen to his bbc tapes.Spike Milligan should not have died last year, after all, he was only 85! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Beca Davey (1/3/2006 2:46:00 PM)

    Spike Milligan is the master of comedy, in my eyes. His poems reflect that just as well as his comedy does. (Report) Reply

Read all 21 comments »

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