Spike Milligan

(16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002 / Ahmednagar)

Have A Nice Day


'Help, help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'
'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.
'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'
'Yes, I know, I heard you before.
Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You, see I've got a disease.
I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.'
'How long, ' said the man who was drowning. 'Will it take for the Doc to arrive? '
'Not very long, ' said the man with the disease. 'Till then try staying alive.'
'Very well, ' said the man who was drowning. 'I'll try and stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he wrote.'
'Help, help, ' said the man with the disease, 'I suddenly feel quite ill.'
'Keep calm.' said the man who was drowning, ' Breathe deeply and lie quite still.'
'Oh dear, ' said the man with the awful disease. 'I think I'm going to die.'
'Farewell, ' said the man who was drowning.
Said the man with the disease, 'goodbye.'
So the man who was drowning, drownded
And the man with the disease past away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in my flat,
It's been a very nice day.

Submitted: Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Edited: Thursday, October 27, 2011

Form:

# 91 poem on top 500 Poems


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  • Veteran Poet - 4,363 Points Savita Tyagi (11/4/2014 7:31:00 PM)

    Trick for having a nice day is not to burden yourself with things that you can't help! Good light hearted poem to read. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,723 Points Kevin Patrick (11/4/2014 3:07:00 PM)

    Perfect poem to read when having a bad day, I can see where the Python act got their best bits. The lesson learned When dying always remain calm, and never let it get you down. It has been a very nice day. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,403 Points Kay Staley (11/4/2014 10:08:00 AM)

    Very pleasant and hints of being well written. I like the irony of the situation but I dont understand why you would write something like this. I do truly appreciate the lack of compassion and coldness that shines through in the most natural ways. Sometimes I wish we could all be emotionless. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,587 Points John Richter (11/4/2014 7:46:00 AM)

    I think this was meant from the start to be humorous, and I think he well accomplished that! Certainly a pleasant read but it leaves me wondering if there was indeed a fire in his apartment that day.... (Report) Reply

    Silver Star - 8,212 Points Kim Barney (11/4/2014 6:31:00 PM)

    It most certainly was meant from the start to be humorous, and there was no fire. That was just his final touch, his punch line.

  • Veteran Poet - 2,549 Points Patricia Grantham (11/4/2014 7:39:00 AM)

    An enjoyable poem that was artistically written. Tale
    of two people that needed help. In the end both
    succumbed to death. Ultimately death gained the
    upper hand. Good. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,094 Points * Sunprincess * (6/18/2014 4:37:00 PM)

    ..........a powerful message delivered in a humorous way....help others in order to ensure there will be someone to help you....hope you were able to extinguish the fire....loved reading every line....adding to my poem collection.... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 33 Points Mark Dillon (9/23/2012 9:01:00 AM)

    the genius of Spike, this is so well written and funny even in resulting deaths, a pun at how rediculous life can be at times (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Michelle Freeman (11/6/2011 8:53:00 PM)

    no kidding, sarcasm not withstanding. this is good, this is soooo good. sick and twisted but good. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Leslee Malloy (9/30/2007 2:08:00 PM)

    I first heard this poem on Radio 4 'Pick of the week' about 3 years ago or so and it was read by Eddie Izzard. Who I might add read it so well and I think this was why it left such an impression on me, just a great poem.
    I just love Spike's humour he was such a talented man, some of his poems make you laugh, others make you cry and some just 'pure zany' a real pleasure. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Martin Shore (2/20/2006 2:30:00 AM)

    I agree with you, Beca, Spike Milligan is a master in comedy, I read his poems and listen to his bbc tapes.Spike Milligan should not have died last year, after all, he was only 85! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Beca Davey (1/3/2006 2:46:00 PM)

    Spike Milligan is the master of comedy, in my eyes. His poems reflect that just as well as his comedy does. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie MJ Roxy (9/14/2005 12:13:00 AM)

    i find this poem halerious! (i didn't spell that right) . i recommend this peom to everyone who enjoys a good laugh! (Report) Reply

Read all 20 comments »

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