Hatred She Feeds Poem by jade stalker

shouting.....arguements....rows......
why does she thrive on unhappiness
she seems to love the tension she causes
leading on to emptiness

i cant stand her....
im ashamed of her
my own mother
the hatred iv gained for her

she sickens me
dont want her near me
she touches me
it just repulses me

why does she enjoy it the tears the anger
im scared of her
want her scrubbed out my life....
wheres the eraser

she fills me life
with nothing but sadness
makes me feel low
feels like im heading to madness

cant explain to people
the feelings she gives me
hate....anger....coldness... bitterness
thats all i feel each day

shes not my mother
she a stranger
who's the monster she turned into
wheres the mum i remember

when i was a kid
took me to the park
and sang me to sleep
when i was scared of the dark

do i want her back
or has she cut too deep
fucked up my head
gave me memories i dont wish to keep

i want to release...
just let it all go...
but everytime i try
the plan falls down like dominoes

i cant talk to strangers
i can only talk to friends
i try to get 'fixed'
keep running into dead ends

first steps councilling
so i keep getting told
it aint that easy tho
im just constant low..

dont know how to end this
no more to say
this will never end....
till she goes away.

16th June 2007