'Hardtimes' 2 Poem by Shanell Howell

Now I'm as happy
As happy as can be
I've provided that home
For my children and me.
I'm still not fit to a tee
But, I'm still as happy as can be.
Life isn't all that bad
Sometimes it's still sad
I had to quit my job, that's ok
I'm sure to find another someday.
Until I find another one
I'll just stay home with my two sons
I have no man to push me around
And hurt me now.
I had a man living with me
He only hurt us three
He has left and gone away
I surely hope he's gone to stay
All the men like that, I've been around
Only wanted to knock me down
And so I've done my best to put my foot down
And stop letting men push me around.
I've built up the strength myself
And I won't be any mans wot-not on a shelf
I dream someday to find a man
Who would hold me as if I were an egg in his hand
Who won't throw me aganist the wall to crack
Or to see if I would bounce back
I've had all I can stand, I can't stand no more
Of being pushed around and knocked to the floor.
I swear my life won't be like that anymore
I've moved around alot you see
To try and make a life
For the boy's and me.
I've always said, I would
Because I knew I could
I've tried to be as hard
And as tough as I could.
But, I always get burned
As easy as a stick of wood
I always did my best
Because I knew I could
And I always said, I would.
I've been working so hard
And now I've won
I've provided the home
For myself and my sons.
I'll keep going on
Providing for us three
I'll never give up
No matter what happens
To keep for us what we've got.
There's gonna be times
I'll cry and wonder why
The Lord chose me
To provide for us Three
The Lord provided
The strength for me
To not give up
But, to fight and provide
For us three.
So you see this is why.
I'm thinking I can't
Have a man around
Who's always a drinking.
This has been a part of my
Problem all along
My life has been
Just like a sad song.

Shanell Howell