Gay Rights For Rabbits Poem by Brian Taylor

Nature, being homogenous,
balances and rectifies unbalance. – Gnome.

For years we have been plagued with rabbits
who come to eat our vegetables
and even the flowers in the pots on the bricks.

This year, without warning, they are gone.

No sign of myxomatosis,
Man’s attempt to weight the balance of nature
to his advantage by using it
as a population control agent.

Instead, a sudden influx
of stoats in cream and grey.

Just now there are four kits
playing on the bricks
and chasing each other
in and out of the bird bath.

Rabbits are affectionate and prolific breeders.
In this they are like humans,
not in affection, but as breeders.

Recently, man’s population control agents,
large scale internecine global wars
and attendant epidemics and famines,
have been less effective than of yore,
and most of our would-be predators
are safely locked up in our zoos.

But nature has been trying a new tack with man;
Gay Rights, whereby the breeding stock declines
and ultimately the birthrate adjusts downwards.

Since part of gays’ rights includes adoption
and the opportunity to induct
a whole new generation
into the twilight mysteries of non-procreation,
the population ratios could,
Nature intends,
adjust along exponential lines.

If successful, Nature might try the same solution
on the excessive lapin enthusiasm
for multiplication,
thereby freeing up its mustelid warriors
for more demanding duties elsewhere.