'For My Father Poem by Ammaar Butt

My Father.

Abba, was a strong, religious man.
Who not only believed in God but also loved him.
He always thanked God, even after the liquid entered his lungs and blocked the air that kept him alive.
Even in that very moment he knelt to the ground with tears running down his cheeks he said 'Alhamdulillah.'

We sit in his room, as he sits on his throne resting his back on the soft cushions.
He says, 'Son, on my funeral, I want you to tell everyone how much I loved them. That as I took my last gasping breath, there was not a single moment I would ever regret. And that I'll miss them. Tell my sister to not cry, just don't be sad, tell her that I'm in paradise with our dad. Tell her that for every time I saw her smiling it felt as if I had fulfilled the purpose to my existence.

Son, I love you. You have made me proud. You have been loyal and kind to me. And for that I thank you.'

My Father has been waiting for his time since the day he first went to a mosque.
The day he fell in love with God.
Ever since he waits for the day he would finally meet him.
And now. The time has come.

He has packed his bags as he stands on the dock.

'Smile.' He says.
'Everything has its end, son. And this, is mine. I've lived my share in life. And Now, I am in depth. And I'm tired of borrowing from the people I love.'

On his funeral, he wants me to accompany his childhood friends. To do all the crazy things they did together.

To one last time hug his daughter and tell her that her daddy will always be with her.

He wants me, to be brave.
To do all that is required to put his body to rest.

And with that said, he sighs and let's go of my hand. He then picks up his luggage and begins to walk down the aisle.
Smiling at everyone sitting on either side.
As he reaches the stage,
He then Wraps the white coffin around his body, and steps into that six feet deep grave, then turns, and smiles.

As if saying 'Don't worry. I'll be okay. Just Take care of yourself.'
After that, he disappeared into the light.

It's been 5 Years since he's gone.
And I can still smell the scent of his body on the clothes he wore.
I can still imagine him lying next to me with his hand wrapped around my shoulder as he whispered into my ear, 'It'll be okay son. Just sleep. I'm here for you. Be brave.'
I still stain my shirt as his memories haunt my soul.

I still miss you, Abba.
And I have done as I was told.