For Me To Understand Poem by Bianca Free

i don't truly feel like I'm here
i can't accept the hard fact
that i'm sitting here tonight

dogs could gnaw straight through these bones
i'd scream in terror, i'd faint in time
but i'd leave in solid peace
for this world is not mine

i don't dance with the lunatics
or mingle with the vain
or want to be compared to the sane
there is no place where i rightly fit in

here i sit, longing to hold some meaning
an inspirational light
but here i sit, alone
trying to look past all the contented people

i think so hard
it fills my heart with heavy sighs
if eyes could see beyond my smiles
they'd see a mouth that screams and cries
i'm not sure how to live
i don't know how to die

life that's full of holes
woes and throes
i have yet to accept

worries fall through the roof
fears twist and turn the truth
summer's pains have passed me by
now comes autumn's rains
a soul finds no hiding place
in this constant downpour

i'm frustrated and wish i knew how to better cope with the times
but i belong to the past
so i'll just lazily lie in the dust
until i meet with those of my time

give me long legs or large moles
what does it matter
i'll always be this foreigner
that doesn't belong