Treasure Island

Russell Nero

(May 25th,1995)

Flying with Wax Wings


Is it time again
Is this another day again
where I sit up once more
waste my fingers to the bone
to describe my grievance with the Sorceress
named Sarah...
No...not this time
Is it time again
is this another day when
I sit up once more
waste my fingers to the bone
rejoicing how much in love I was with Sarah my Sorceress
No...not this time
she's not mine anymore
Was she truly mine to begin with
I don't really know
I don't think I ever really did
but it doesn't matter
cause in defiance to everyone who told me to forget
in defiance to those who told me to grow up and move on
in defiance to myself
I begin my ode to Sarah
Traditional, this is not one
They, the people
they've all heard the tales
my strives to be with you
my lessons to hold you
my ends to forget you
my means to erase, detach you from me
but it's all been an attempted failure
like plankton stealing a krabby patty
like Icarus flying with wax wings
I'm just a failure
a loser
I was crowned so
after a movie date gone awry with you
or do you remember
I can never forget
Where is the sense in all of this
I have no clue
All I know, well I know nothing
I'm miserable without you
I'm a fluctuating time bomb with you
I can't stand you
I love you
I want to push you off a cliff
I want to hold you and never let go
just to remember, just to know
what I felt four years ago was true
what I felt four years ago was real
Sarah, how did us become so wrong
Sarah, will you admit you were stolen from me
Sarah, how can you not remember you were stolen from me
Sarah, believe me...
Sarah, do you even remember me...
I once held you so close to my heart
Sarah, do you even remember me...
No...you've barely spoken my name since I was forced to leave
only to get a rise out of me
leading me on, building me up
sending your knights out to slay the dragon of me
sending your vikings out to slay me
sending your pirates out to burn me to the ground
sending your vultures out to make sure I would be laid deceased
Are you satisfied
I lay deceased
Are you happy
here I am depressed
and yet here I still defend your name
while I curse it just the same
Sarah...
Sarah...
(sigh) Selena...
I can say it like a man
I can take it like a man
I can stand up and be a man
to fall back down and be a kid again
I loved you
you were everything to me
you were...everything
but everything is now nothing
and that's I guess is me now
Nothing...nothing...nothing...
I'm sick of everyone telling me
holding on is unhealthy
I'm sick of everyone telling me
to grow up and get over
be a man and move on
when they cannot fathom how much I tried to
move on, ignore, fast forward
but like a scratched up CD
I lagged, I skipped forward and back
trying to keep my head on straight
bent in and out of shape
built a castle and moat in quick sand
everything just to...just to...
just to get away
but I lost all the battles
lost the war
I spent my entire freshman year of high school
just to detach and latch on
to hope
to hope maybe one day I could hold you again
to hope maybe I'll never see you again
So I guess one scenario came true
and I guess another truth is a wish untrue
Sarah...Sarah the Sorceress...Sarah my Sorceress...
Selena...
I miss you...
I hate you...
I love you...
I get depressed everytime I talk to you
everytime I think you about you
you were my happiness
you were my everything
you were...you were...
Sarah...
Selena...
I once said forever...
I once promised you my whole life...
but like rusty flowers
my promises have withered and flown away
So do I say goodbye this day
or do I hold onto you tightly
May 22nd,2009...
our first and last kiss
do I hold onto you tightly
in my mind...

Submitted: Saturday, September 14, 2013
Edited: Monday, September 16, 2013

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