Empty Courage Poem by Ray Anyasi

If only I had not
left my courage on the shelf.
To embark on this adventure.
If only I didn't make a dash for the rolling mountains of my wishful thoughts.
Yet leaving my hat under my pillow.
I made a life in the thin air that holds my castle.
The same pocket of air that took my caution away.
If only I have the spirit to put flesh upon my wishes.
If only...

It's like fate without faith.
I'm tilling with a shinny sickle,
Because I did not plan to need a hoe.
Grasping at White shadows.
I'm on an incursion without hope,
Not knowing how or when I shall kick my feet in.
Let's face it, I'm a coward.
Dreaming all day and thinking all night.
Killing time in a bloodless war.
It's like wooing my dream girl inside a nightmare.
Or luring virgins to eunuch covens.

If only I hadn't left my gut behind.
Maybe I can stomach one storm too many.
Maybe the headwinds won't freeze my wheels.
Alas, I'm wishing on a long dead star.
I'm a coward, let's be honest.
And I don't want to have to face it.
I'm harvesting on empty stomach, chasing an elf on a three-legged stalion.

It's futile. Useless.
To want and not to will.
To pray and not to pain.
A talk without the walk.
Or to sulk without a bulk.
I even charge only to baulk.
It's pain without a cause,
wishes on a dying star.
It's the orgasm of an empty mind.