Dying Today Poem by jennifer killian

I think I may be dying
(really)
My mind is numb
The numbness is spreading
There is a pressure around it;
it’s strapped around the center

Pouring rain, buckets and buckets of water
A crazy downpour
I am drenched
Thoroughly soaked, there is not much more left dry
Left for me

Today was bad
The heaviness was twice what it is now
Concentrating was very difficult
I couldn’t drive today; no, there was no way
I went to sleep (it was all I could do)
And I was pretty sure I wouldn’t wake up
No way out of this; nope, no way

Lying there, feeling it happen:
Two sides fighting, wrestling, a battle
A split
I could do absolutely nothing, absolutely nothing,
nothing, nothing, nothing
just watch, see what happens
(a 911 call would be useless)
The stakes were high
I woke up; it was if I had never slept at all
Too much stuff going on
No rest; no, no rest today

It’s here still; not as severe thank God
But it’s here nonetheless
Driving is still not a good idea
An iceberg,
Deep under the water; deep, deep, deep
Dragging everything down, down, down
It’s isolated, alone, barren
My thoughts are not there
They cannot survive this climate

The wind whistles
And I hear it
It is telling me something, it moans
I can hear it, even through the closed glass
“I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming…” it is telling me
It is telling me that I will die soon
(I hope I don’t go to hell)

If I die don’t be too sad
Don’t cry too much
(That would just make me feel bad)
I can’t rob you of a tear or two, though
You see,
I believe that this will all happen over and over again,
Forever…
In different guises
“will the circle be unbroken? ”
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes: the circle will be unbroken
We’ll meet again,
All of us…every single one
I love you all and I will love you all the next time