Dull Moments Poem by Joyleen Heneker

You try to be proud
Of who you’ve become
Of the things you’ve achieved
And things you’ve done
You try hard every day
To stay focused
To stay positive
Dull moments you have
Are awkward moments
And awful times
No body likes who I’ve become
I think I’ve become a better person
You think im dumb
I think im smart
They think im stupid
You wanna socialize
They don’t want you around
These are dull moments
You need to over come
My tears full
Mostly at night
No one understands
No one sees me as I am
I lay the night screaming
For some one to help
I want ppl to understand me
The way I am today
But no one around me
To save me from drowning
I sit in the empty bath
My safe haven around me
With razors in my hand
Grazing around me
I panick in the morning
Did I do that to me
Why cant no one hear me
Am I screaming at all
Am I just screaming in my head
With no sound coming loudly
Why do dull moments
Only happen when im alone
Zoning from the happiness
That I had at home
Why am I so lonely
So afraid of places I go
So scared I can’t breath
I feel like there is no oxygen
No blood pumping through my veins
Are my emotions real
Or am I over reacting
Why do I sit alone at night
To scared to wake up
To scared to sleep
To face my fears again
To choke on my tears
To drown in my sorrows
A fear of loosing a piece of me
Why do all these dull moments
Happen when I feel I no longer can live
You’ve take my soul
You’ve taken my life
I have no heart to keep me alive
Taken my faith
And hid it from me high
Give me back my life
My reason for living
My reason for breathing
My self, my body
Stop me from feeling worlds away from home
A life with out dull moments
A life with out strife
A life where I am happy
No longer a stray
No longer just a person
But some one who is brave