Joyleen Heneker

Joyleen Heneker Poems

Im standing there all alone
Darkness surrounds me
I feel like im chocking
Hands around my neck
...

Who am I?
I used to have dreams, goals and ambitions
I used to smile, love and felt compassion
I used to be fun, socialize and hang out with friends
...

3.

This is what you want me to be
Superficial, skinny as can be
Happy, successful, a beauty queen
Dark hair, blue eyes, clear complexion and smooth skin
...

I don’t need you any more in my life
Let me be in mourning
For the loss of you
Thank you for every thing you have tried to do for me
...

Im sitting here
Crying inside
Screaming so loud
I want to run
...

Lost in my darkness
No where to go
So scared of these feelings
Wish they would leave me alone
...

It’s been a couple of days now
Since you departed
I’ve heard no word from you
This has left me broken hearted
...

Thin thin thin
All to begin
I see myself in a mirror
I just cant win
...

What is life worth to some one?
What does it mean to live life?

Is life when you live it?
...

Confusion is my state of mind
Locked into the darker side
I fear all these things
I fear for not belonging
...

I don’t want to be labeled
Don’t want to me judged
Don’t want to be ugly nor fat
...

Mummy Mummy
Why are they all so mean?
For being myself or whom I could be
I sit in the corner
...

You try to be proud
Of who you’ve become
Of the things you’ve achieved
And things you’ve done
...

Standing in a corner
Feeling cold and lone
Nothing else surrounds me
Darkness is all around me
...

Why does this happen to me
Or am I questioning my sanity?
My brain is running over time’
The darkness empowers me
...

You are my star
You light up a room
Your warm smiles
Comforting hugs
...

Why doesn’t any one reach out
Why does it feel every time I breath
It feels like my last breathe
Why do I sit there screaming in my head
...

18.

Why do we still feel guilty?
When you know deep down you have made the right choices!

Why do you ache so badly still?
...

19.

Hate hate hate
This is my debate
I hate a lot of things
I hate the way they look at me
...

I’ve seen people die
Of what’s killing me
I’ve seen people cry
For what’s taking my life
...

Joyleen Heneker Biography

For most my life i have faught what i thought was a loosing battle with anorexia/bulimia and suicidal thoughts and commited several times. My poems are based on some of my experiences, times when i needed to escape, etc. I refer to a Name called Bella alot in my poems, Bella is what i had named my Eating disorder> Bella to me was a powerfull name. Sorry if you find that some of my poems are explicit but these poems do not get any more real then what they are. Please i would love to hear what you think as i generally do not share these with no one, But one day would love to write a book based on my battle with it all, and my poems also. THank you for taking your time in reading them)

The Best Poem Of Joyleen Heneker

Im Standing There All Alone

Im standing there all alone
Darkness surrounds me
I feel like im chocking
Hands around my neck
Squeezing tighter
It’s harder to breath

Every bit of air I get
I try to scream for help
No one hears a sound

Im hidden deep
In an unknown realm
Where no body is
And nothing ever grows

The only thing I hear around me
Is the blackness of my mind
I want some one to shake me
Wake me up
This fearful reality
I want to breathe
The recovery way

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