Did You Ever Know? Poem by Shilesha Johnson

I don’t even know what to do anymore
I feel like I have control over nothing
Except walking out the door
I don’t trust anything
I have no place to go
No one’s arms
No place to call home
I may be writing from the top of my head
And nothing may make since
After all I have just said
But I can’t hold it in
Nobody to depend
Nobody to rely on
And I try so hard to be strong
And I’m trying…
But how long?
How long do I have to be this way?
How long until one of us finally walks away?
Because that is what’s going to happen
And I want to stop that but who am I kiddin’
We can’t change destiny
And I always believed that you were the one for me
But the more and more that I think
I ask myself if I am the one for you
You don’t feel like you used to
And I don’t blame you
But when we talk things seems so normal
Then you remind me of what I NEED TO do
As if I don’t know
But I stay quiet and don’t let my feelings show
Cause see…I’m trying to change
But how long is this pain going to stay
I love you with all of my heart
I just know you don’t believe that
And I’m not sure if you ever did from the start