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Barbara Hernandez


Deception


I’m fine, in other words …you can say I’m hurting.
That’s the honest truth.
It’s a deep gripe I carry on with me, everywhere I stride.
My eyes try so hard to gaze in parts unknown.
Just to find that right one.
The thing is you been standing right in front of me this whole instance.
But how can I be with someone that isn’t you? Yet I still have you in my spirit fulfilled with that indulgence you brought along with you since the start.
My heart struggles to move on.
Any moment that I’m one second close to succeeding, I completely fail to my attempt.
I try so hard to move on.
But seems like the more I try the harder it gets by the minute.
You impede me, and say “don’t leave me, I don’t want to move on”
How can I refuse and say no to you?
That’s the dilemma, I can’t.
I sit down and reminisce to the past… our past.
I ask myself, what do I do?
How long till my emotions continue to eradicate for you?
We decide to hold on to each other because we can’t dare ourselves to see us apart.
The more I hold on to you, the more I’ll hurt myself at the end.
I disregard the thought of it.
It’s nonexistent to me …for the moment.
I am probably waiting on something unreal that will never happen.
I lie to myself and say “I’m not, its hallucination”.
Leaving you? Would be like saying goodbye to myself.
No, I lied it would be a withdrawal like of a drug that feels so pleasurable but yet causes so much agony to handle it all at once.
I should move on, you should move on but the feeling is too strong to be left behind with all of our devote memories.
So, I wait.

Submitted: Thursday, April 25, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, September 25, 2013

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