Dark Shades Of Heaven Poem by Grace LXY

There is a field that divides us
a vacuum of time and confession
a beginning and
an end
dissipating across opposite realms
like Altair and his weaver
but they held each other once.

You were not a being of this earth, no
though I seemed simple enough
to fall at your feet, unconditionally.
Grounded eternally to the truth —
no depth, no curve
and half set free
your voice fills up all of me
until I'm burning on empty
trembling towards internal collapse

Oh the pain and malaise
are all I know of —
Only the darker strokes of love.
High up above the cowherd sighs across
the dark shades of heaven.

And I can't think of anything more profound
than the way you touch so carelessly
Far up above
the stars have already crossed us.

I lit the lamps and cast myself at your door
too afraid to ring, too late to wait
so I saw heaven reflected in my own eyes
and not yours, never yours
I didn't want to see anymore.

Too young to let it all combust, could only
feel the knife of delusion, it burns like ice
and if I knew what the stars knew
then I would never have fallen for you.

—

five six months ago
a little flame, waiting out in the cold
and when you speak for the first time
your voice is my music and every word is a world
you are here and you are not
in this material dimension
my existence but that dark bridge
between the eternities

and now I can only guess
at the hours we called home
tempted by the changeless night
the wind grasps me in headfirst
a beginning
and then — existence.
it doesn't add up —
and it's all I know
of science
we waver just like candles
in the shadow of
a soft goodbye.