Portia Lane

(California)

Daddy When You Die (Forget...Forgive...Remember...)


I can't promise that I'll cry
But I promise that I'll try
To forgive you

To forgive you for the countless days and nights
You were missing from my life
For the days when your shell was around
But the soul that possessed it was out of town

I will try to forgive you for the opportunities
You missed to support my dreams
And for the tears I shed because I didn't believe
That you truly loved me

Daddy, when you die
I cant promise that I'll cry,
But I promise that I'll try
To forget

I'll try to forget
When you abused my mother
Though her bloody lips and blackened eyes
Are still visible to me when I close mine

I'll try to forget
You calling her out of her name
Then coming to me and saying
I was the same way

I'll try to forget
The fourteen year old me
Crying while walking down the street
Because her father had just called her a bitch

Daddy, when you die
I can't promise that I'll cry
But I promise that I'll try
To remember

I will try to remember
All the times I was happy to be your daughter
Like when we would go fishing
I hold great memories from those trips

I will try to remember
How you once made me feel safe
How when I was sick and in pain
You held my hand and wiped the tears from my face

I will try to remember
That you expressed you love
Through the things you gave us
Always giving us the material things we wanted

I promised myself
I would no longer cry because of you
So daddy when you die
I can't promise that I'll cry
But I promise that I'll try
To forgive, to forget, and to remember too

Submitted: Sunday, March 17, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, June 04, 2014

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