Clarence The Clown Poem by archie langford

I remember when I joined the circus
A circus of great renown,
I wore baggy clothes and a little red nose
And they called me Clarence the clown.

The first job I had in the circus,
Was walking behind the parade,
Following the elephants and horses,
With a bleeding great bucket an a spade.

I tried learning to juggle, gee what a struggle!
I was taught by the Spaniard Alphonse,
He wasn`t at all pleased the day that I sneezed
And my clubs hit him smack on the bonce,

People ran for their lives when I tried throwing knives,
They said I gave cause for concern.
I fell off high wire, I tried eating fire,
But I found that it gave me heart burn.

I couldn`t get the knack of riding bare back,
Taming lions! That wasn`t for me,
Then the ring master called me a disaster
And I couldn`t do much more than agree.

Then I fell for Denise on the flying trapeze,
`Twas the day we weren`t using a net,
I screamed in despair she caught me in midair,
I said, “ I`m so glad that we met”.

The way she filled the room in that tiny costume,
Was a sight for the sorest of eyes,
Her Italian dad got ever so mad,
He said, “Keep your hands off Denise and the thighs”.

We were both sweating while heavily petting
Behind the cage that they kept the giraffe in,
We both muttered drat it when her dad caught us at it,
I looked at his face, he wasn`t laughing.

He said, “You havea your funanow I fetcha my guna
For my daughter you are nota fit
So what I plan on I shoota you from de canon =,
Right into that great pile of muck over there”.

And so I got fired and completely mired,
The boss said, “That`s the best that you`ve done,
So wrongly or rightly every twice nightly
You`ll det shot from that bloody great gun”.

So in baggy apparel they stuff me down the barrel,
Me red nose, me pants falling down,
But I`ve no cause to moan I`m universally known
As Clarence the canon-ball clown,