' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Clapham Ever After Poem by Dónall Dempsey

From Primary
to Secondary Modern

he longed for her
but she never ever

saw him
as anything but

'that annoying annoying
little boy! '

Puberty found her
a hit

behind the bikeshed
with all of his mates

she had a sound
business sense

showed her tits
for sixpence

fanny for a shilling.

She was making
a killing.

It was the same
again at Uni

the miniest
of minis

the lowest cut
(like a swift upper cut)
of blouses

perched like
an erotic bird

of Paradise
on some greesy geeyser's

macho monster motorcycle.

One drunken
encounter in the student bar

he went for bust
but got a resounding

slap across the kisser.

She drew blood
and howls of laughter.

It was only after
she pitied him

his red face
the roars of his mates

his almost inaudible
'love you' whisper

that...that
she fell for him

felt for him
what he felt for her.

And that was when
she asked if
(he would like)

to marry
her.

Half pissed
he croaked 'Yes! '

And then 'Yes! ' again
when he was sober.

And believe it or not
they tied the knot

living happily in
Clapham ever after.