But On The Other Hand Poem by Lonnie Hicks

Death is Bad;
but it is slimming.

Life is Good;
Except when it is Bad

Heaven is good
but it is too far away
and I wonder if there
is dating there
or marriage.

Why do Arab Martyrs
get 21 virgins in Heaven?
Where do they come from?

Dying is ok by me
I just don't want it to be unpleasant
and I certainly don't want to watch;
don't want you to watch either.

I like birds
but the way they fly around
seems frivolous.

Happiness is over-rated;
but then again
so is misery.

I like kissing
but the spit part
and the lips-
can't you catch something?

The little girl said
'Sex is like blowing up a balloon
and then the baby cries.'

He said;
'Women are like precious diamonds
hard on the outside
hard on the inside
but make-up and lighting
makes them look shiny.
But they are far more valuable than men.

Men are like custard pie
delicious when fresh
but not fulfilling
enough for dinner;
have them only for dessert
and then only occasionally.

Children make marriages.
Children break marriages.

Thinking is like washing your brain
sometimes after washing
you can do a thing with it and that can make you nervous.

If your favorite pet and your significant other was drowning
who would you save?
This is the single greatest indicator of what stage of life you are in.

Cowardice is the root of all evil.

Complacency is the root of all Cowardice.

Laziness is the root of all Complacency

The root of Laziness is Boredom

The Root of Boredom is the inability
to choose what is interesting.

The root of choosing only the uninteresting
is control from the top

The root of control from the top
is Cowardice.