Black Spider I Keep My Silence Poem by RIC BASTASA

I know how it feels like to be in a narrow alley
there is no rope but the feeling of being choked is always there
in such a way that you cannot utter the necessary words calling for help

you fear the coming of the night because there are no more people talking
and silence seems to be another cruel stranger without a face and fingers

the weirdness of these all
underlies a throbbing of the heart drums without music but all palpitations of an abnormality which you know exists but which you cannot drive away like unwanted birds pecking on your hair as though they are grains
as you see yourself getting bald and bloody

there is no screaming now, people won't hear anyway or if they hear they will think that you are being haunted by
invisible demons, which you yourself cannot figure out which is the head and which is the tail
and you move your arms in circles trying to locate which is the point of an ending

that happily ever after that you like to write which cannot be written because now you cannot pinpoint
the cause from the effect and the effect from the cause like a wedding ring which has become too tight in your finger

you like to throw it away but it is not that simple. People are complicated. Events are either lawful or unlawful and you are given the choice whether to go to prison or die.

the deep blue sea and the devil. you or I, either and neither, puzzling bitch surrounded by dogs like a lake surrounded by small shores, like a mouth mumbling for syllables which still remain irresponsible and
hence incomprehensible

but i know each like the fingers in my hand, and to avoid death of the black spider i keep my silence.