Biscuit Tourettes Poem by Phil Soar

I F***ing hate digestives
I F***ing hate Rich Teas
I F***ing hate all biscuits
I'm F***ing hard to please.

I F***ing hate those Bourbons
With chocolate in the middle
Made by F***ing morons
And Makers on the fiddle.

I hate those Jammie dodgers
And shortbread makes me fat
I wish the F***ing biscuit tin
Was squashed and F***ing flat.

I F***ing hate those custard ones
Fig Rolls and Hobnobs too
I F***ing hate those party rings
And Arrowroot makes me poo.

A viennese finger sounds obscene
And malted milk is shite
I F***ing hate these biscuits
I'm F***ed okay?
That's right