Because I Had Too Poem by Sarah Cotnam

im having trouble shutting my eyes
but it makes no difference now
it could be day forever
but my world will ever be black
im hoping it's just a stage
hoping
for it to end soon
so i could grow out of this
away from this
see the light on the opposite end of the tunnel
inside this train going faster than light

i have no control
so dont ask me to turn left when the tracks turn right
dont ask me to follow you when you turn away
stop asking me
i cant leave this train-tracked way

i think if i scream loud enough
my soul will leave me
so i scream quietly
but im getting louder every time

my tortured soul
im hugging to a starless sky
waiting for the moon to rise
waiting for what the tide will bring
im waiting for you
my other half
in this misunderstanding world
someone to catch my tears
even before they leave my eyes

liquid life is drained from me
im not stopped by shiny things
the brightest has far gone blinded me
so im left in constant dark

you raped away my self hood
and along with, sense of pride
i can only think of you now
constantly i hide
in the black, barricaded
sitting against my door
you will never be in again
my room is shut with my soul
that you will never get in